My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
