He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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