We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize