Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he thought i was a dude.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
