Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
