I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
