i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
