Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
