Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
