im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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