when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
