He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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