so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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