she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
