I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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