So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
