i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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