But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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