I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
two words: eviction party
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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