so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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