yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
