So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
