You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
