Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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