I wish i was in the wii world.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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