It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
