i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Enjoy the penises
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
