I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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