I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
