Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
