Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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