i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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