You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
