woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize