my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
