ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
