Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
