Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
