How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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