the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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