I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
it glows. i had to have it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
