I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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