sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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