So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
