i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
