If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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