I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
