Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
