You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My room smells like vodka and shame
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
