I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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