there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize