ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
