I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
