All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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